As some of you might know from my IG, I write a weekly gratitude diary. I started it to help me with my anxiety and feelings of hopelessness. In a previous post, I’ve discussed my journey with mental health and right now I’m in a good place. I thought it would also be beneficial if I did a round-up every few months to help keep me on track, especially during testing or stressful times. Anyway, here’s the first one – let me know your thoughts.
I’ve had success with my no-spend in preparation for my trip to San Francisco in April. I’ve bought two tops, three vintage saris, a pair of earrings and a beret since January 1st. Selling and giving away things I don’t need or want has had a positive impact on me – I also have a bit more space in my flat. At the start of the year, I gave myself a challenge to break my fear and hatred of running (definitely linked to horrible memories from school). With the right playlist, I’ve managed quite a few 5Ks on a treadmill. I still prefer boxing or rowing but I’m not afraid to run now.
I see my mum and sister at least once every two weeks. We generally hang out, catch up, cook and eat. I’ve had A LOT of great dinners round my mum’s but I definitely need to practise making dishes that aren’t in my repertoire. I’ve previously written about my grandma’s dementia and my reactions to it (you can read about it here). I’ve been round my grandparents a couple of times this year and I’ve not left in floods of tears; we’ve managed to laugh, reminisce and look after each other. I don’t feel so anxious about going any more.
Through reflection, I’ve definitely come to the realisation that I prefer small meet-ups to big ones – I’m much less self-conscious and I don’t feel so overwhelmed. In the past three months, I’ve had a two group meet-ups in London and I’ve got a couple more planned later in the year. It’s much easier now I know people a little better. I’ve continued my monthly dinners with my friend Becky (we also fit in a drag show). I feel like we’ve developed a solid friendship – I can talk to her about anything. Kelly and I hang out (when we can) and miss Rhina. We’re going to be long distance friends for the foreseeable future but we have plans! This month I finally met Salina and we’re already thinking about our next meet-up – it’s always good to find a kindred spirit.
I always find the winter months at school the hardest; waking up in the dark and going home in the dark make me quite miserable. Thankfully, it’s getting lighter now. Over the term, I’ve had the usual stresses of teaching but I’ve been working with a really solid and lovely team which has been great for my anxiety.
Here are some of my favourite looks from the past three months:
I feel like it’s been a positive start to the year. I’ve got so many plans ahead of me though – there’s not enough time!